I wrote last week about the qualifications for the partner. When we think about a partner there are a lot of qualifications that are rather superficial. Yet I can list few qualifications, that I think are necessary for any (romantic) relationship.
Wanted:
- Willingness to communicate - both speak and listen.
- Willingness to but the significant other before oneself, when necessary.
- Willingness to admit fault and error in one self and own opinions.
- Willingness to respect the other sex in general and the own partner in particular.
- Willingness to share, both good and bad things.
- Adaptability and flexibility. Willingness to negotiate.
- Willingness to work for relationship and if necessary find external or even professional help.
- Willingness to grow and learn new abilities in relationships.
- Willingness to take and share the responsibility: emotional, financial and parenting (if there is any intention of having offspring).
- Sharing the similar or compatible life goals and willingness to respect the world views of the significant other.
Turn-down:
- Untreated mental illness or addiction of any kind (except maybe smoking).
- Tendency to violence - either mental or physical.
- Any kind of extremism or fanaticism.
- Sociopathy or pathological narcissism.
- Pathological jealously.
- Authoritative personality.
- History of (any) unfaitfullness and (at least the worst cases of) hopeless flirt. (Including the married or otherwise taken persons).
You may notice that I used the word willingness instead ability - that is because we all have debilities in those fields and what I think is most wanted in the relationship is good will.
Filed under: Family, Love, Thoughts, ethics, feelings, marriage, men, relationships, role models, women
