Love Shy

My problem with men has been a special kind of shyness or social fear. I am afraid of sexual chemistry and behind it are my bad experiences. I know it makes me difficult to interpret, because I am not otherwise excessively shy. It often happens that men I am not interested in find me easier to approach than those that I find fascinating. It usually take time to trust and feel comfortable around them, but most men are not that patient and I can understand them.

Brand New Baby Girl

I am unofficially a God mother (- it will be official only after the babtism of course). The baby girl was born couple of weeks ago and after it we had a slight worry with her blood sugar levels, but now everything is fine. I am happy for them and part of me wants to throw a party and another part of me wants to pamper her to rots.

In the Meanwhile (for only those curious of my whereabouts)

While I feel like nothing has happened, during the time I was away from here, there has been those moments. First I’ve heard that I’ll be godmother. He/She should born one of these days. I like children and while not having any of my own godchild is a good substitute. I have felt little left out in fact, because many of my friends have had plenty of godkids. This is my first. Although one old friend (long time not seen) told me that she could have written the same story: for years no godchildren and then in the few years several. I wonder…

How Do You Take Care of Yourself as a Woman?

This question surprised me. I had never thought about taking care of myself as a woman (you guys can replace it with man if you like). It was in a book, where it was part of the section about identity. I seldom think about taking care of myself anyway. I posed this question to my girl friends and according their reactions, they were as baffled as I was.

Panicking over Fertility

Just an year ago I wrote about not being in a hurry to become mother. Last weekend I found myself panicking about potential menopause. I know it was silly and it probably has not started yet, but my curses were light and I was quite warm (although I wore plenty of clothing) and some how it came to my mind that it might have begun.

The Model of the Parents’ Union

I filled in a questionnaire on partnership issues. There were some questions that made me think. Both me and my sister have emotional relationship issues – although we have reacted in different ways towards our childhood. 

I wonder what impact does parents union have on our view of relationship. It is in the end what we’ve experienced when we were growing up. We might have seen something of the unions of our uncles and aunts, maybe also of our grandparents and cousins, or we might not, depending how open our family is. Yet there are usually few other role models as people don’t show their true self towards outsiders.

My Role Models: Ms. Beatrix Potter

Now Ms. Potter was not just a writer of sweet children’s literature, but also a respected female scientist. Her paper on germination of spores was presented by her uncle in Linnea Society that later apologized of her treatment. Still most people don’t know about this side of hers. At the same time she draw pictures of funny animals wearing pastel clothes and there is no inclination that she took it any less seriously.