I’d rather not Become Mean Old Woman

Every Year one more year – and every year closer to the life alone at old age. That is my biggest fear. My family has tendency to live long and my granny was fortunate to be friendly person others liked, who was frequently visited even in hospital. My great aunt on the other hand was mean old woman, and had much less visitors. I would not like to end up like her.

I have always tought that I would wan’t to have own children and rather big family. I would still wan’t to get own children, but have started of thinking if that might be even possible. On the other hand I don’t like the Holliwood tendency of acessory adoption.

My father, who was not really religious person in such, used to quote myself a part of bible that said taht children must honor their parents and I used to quote him back part that said fathers shoud not make their children angry. You can imagine that we did not have the easiest relationship. The point is that I would like to be able to follow my own advice: respect the children, so they would respect me back. I think parent is as responsible of the relationship as child is. And wice versa: on contradiction to modern psychologic view.

One has red all these stories of people staying months dead in their solitary apartments, befor being found, when their family and friends have abandon them or they have them selves chosen to not keep up the connection. If you are depressed and lonely, keeping up the connection is not so easy, as I know both from personal experience and from my brothers.

I have long been planning to visit old lonely people, but have not kind of found the energy to participate. Because I am myself afraid of ending up lonely, I can sympatice with those who are. Because I have experienced the loneliness of living in foreing country, I can sympatice the lonelines of foreigners. I could make this year promise to try to start participating in some of these actions.

I just week ago wrote a poem titled why. It was not in English, so I don’t quote it here. First part was about alcholist parent, second of domestic violence, third was about lonely old-age and third everything disgusting people do around the world. I told about an old person waiting whole week an social worker to visit. The old age lonelyness seems to have been lot in my mind lately.

There was a campaing where they collected money for old people and the slogan was “Only the Death to Come to Visit.” It was creepy, but at the same time a wake-up call. I saw a elderly lady, in her eighties at the night time walking around the shop. She did not seem to notice me, even we know each other, although not closely.

I still wonder, who is taking care of her, because she is quite old and if I remember correctly her family is living abroad. It touched my conscience. She is not directly my responsibility, but aren’t we all each others responsibility, espesially when there is nobody spesial to take care of the situation. This is something one cannot control: even if you were married, some day you spouse might die and you children might move to live far away.


4 Responses

  1. What a sweet sentiment. With a caring heart, you will never be friendless.

  2. Thanks for sharing this information. Really is pack with new knowledge. Keep them coming.

  3. just started reading your blog and i just can’t stop. post after post and I can’t get enough.
    I am in love with you, whoever you are. such a great warm heart you don’t find everywhere.

  4. Thank you for you kind words.

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