Not Quite Adult Yet?

When one is a child, one thinks that growing up is a simple process: You just become adult. Somebody wise has said that one only becomes truly adult, when there are no more parents alive. My own personal experience indicates that everybody does not grow up even then. They just transfer the adult role to someone else.

Becoming adult is not fun – as it means taking responsibility of your own life as well as often of others. It would nice to continue as semi child: with adults rights but not responsibilities. We are often marketed to grow up, but not adults. You can nowadays see grandmothers dressing like teenagers.

I have found myself clinging to the childhood. It would nice, if my parents still would arrange all things for me. No unpleasant confrontation with the condominium manager or standing for my rights at the office meeting. Yet that is not possible and we will admit that it would not be in general desirable.

In relationships we still often behave like kids, even if we would not think of doing anything like that at the workplace. We except the other one being the adult in the relationship and make us happy. This might work as long as one of the partners take that role, but what if it does not happen?

I think one of the reasons for high divorce rates beside the hectic careers and busy life with not enough time for family is this eternal childhood syndrome, that is more common that we would except.  Anthony De Mello states in one of his books that first step of waking up is to admit that you are at sleep. Even if I don’t sign everything he says, this statement is no doubt the truth. There is no one else responsible of making us happy, whether we admit it or not – and are in the relationship or not.

Truly growing up is not easy process nor is it light and funny, but it makes us free and eventually I think happier.


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