Too Picky? Or Too Shy?

“Am I too picky?” This is a question most of us single girls ask ourselves sooner or later. Why have I not found a man, when there are appearently plenty of them around?

My friend told me a story a man she met and intentionally scared away with her age. I asked why on earth did she do that? There were pretty excuses, but nothing real. Well he was younger – eight years (she is somewhat older than me, but that has never been a problem). I am a bit worried about her at the moment, as she seems to become a little too determined to stay spinster. An old fashioned spinster in fact. Poor guy!

But am I any better? I told her a story of this guy, who came to talk me at the book store and my reaction. She told me that most of women would propably had reacted like me. But it still made me wonder. We are not really yes-girls, are we? Not truly open to meet new people.

Another friend of mine decided to make a change. She started dating men intentionally. And then when she met her other half she was open enough to give him a change. And now they are getting married. What I wonder is: should I do something similar? I red the book “Year of Yes” but it has not really made a change in my life, although I liked the idea.

The proplem behind might be partly shyness. When stranger comes to talk to me I go to my shell. And it does not need to be a total stranger – just someone I don’t know that well. I look at my shoes and smile to them – instead smiling to him. Not a good start. At the moment I am little more uncomfortable due to my new hair and what I feel new attention too.

May-day’s eve is always a big feast here – a short of carneval, if you like and I was standing in the tram stop, when a car stopped beside. I tought he was on a line to the lights. It was sporty good looking car and I could see guy sitting there. I only understood it had stopped beside me on purpose, when it drived on to the lights. I really am not accustomed to this new attention.


2 Responses

  1. Too picky ? I don’t know. It’s the “problem” of most single women right now. There’s something to do with the fact we’re growing old and we know better what’s good for us, and what’s not.

  2. As a guy who has been consistenty talking with women I meet at public places (bookstores, subway, restaurants, coffee shops) I have to say that it’s more important to be open to meeting new people than of being concerned of finding the right person.

    I think this is true for both men and women. If women are automatically closed off to an interaction because the man isn’t good enough for them, then that puts them in a closed state of mind that might make it difficult to recognize when the right man comes into their lives.

    I’m not saying a woman has to say yes to every guy that asks her out or talks to her, but I think some women should open up to the opportunities all around them. Even playful flirting without it going any further could change a woman’s outlook for the day.

    Oh, and don’t forget – the guy is nervous, too. After all, he had to summon the courage to come talk to you in the first place 🙂

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