Comfortanle in the Own Skin

Everyone of us have met those people. They seem relaxed and they feel good about themselves and they seem strong. And they are strong because they trust themselves and others. One feels both envy and admiration towards them. One hopes to be like them and is sad that one isin’t.

One thing I noticed about my friend in the bachelorette party, that she was comfortable in her own skin. I wish I were too. I believe that self acceptance is a key to the successful relationship. How could I offer acceptance and love, if I cannot accept or love myself? I admit that in this sense I am not ready for serious relationship, but I am getting there slowly but surely.

Lately I’ve been trying to accept my key characteristics like shyness or special kind of concentration. I don’t want to see them just as faults, although they do have negative sides in them. Yet I believe that my shyness has protected me and that my special kind of concentration is a key to creativity. When I learn to accept myself, I feel more secure, I hope, and due that more ready to open up toward others and especially towards men.

And this is a process I am in right now. I have known for a while, that this in certain sense is my problem, but I’ve not been ready to deal with it before. It also consumes quite a lot of my energy right now and my work is not going very well – and the other dimensions of my life are not brilliant either. But I think it is wort it and not a catastrophe.

One of my major problems earlier has been perfectionism. This is a malady that plague many of so called good girls. They are not able to accept any faults in themselves and occasionally also in the others, and this is very hard life. I think behind this problem is the fact that they have been demanded to accept too well, when they were still too little.

Due to some bad experience on my looks with (certain idiotic) men – both intrusion and criticism – have raised my timidity for need to hide myself. There is many way to hide, when you are insecure and afraid of attention. One is to literally hide and one is to hide oneself behind drab looks. I’ve noticed it now with my new looks and how it makes me uncomfortable, when I get praise for my hair. It is like I suddenly were changed woman. It is little leap of faith and makes me ready for bigger ones.

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