Relationship qualities

I wrote last week about the qualifications for the partner. When we think about a partner there are a lot of qualifications that are rather superficial. Yet I can list few qualifications, that I think are necessary for any (romantic) relationship.

 Wanted:

    1. Willingness to communicate – both speak and listen.
    2. Willingness to but the significant other before oneself, when necessary.
    3. Willingness to admit fault and error in one self and own opinions.
    4. Willingness to respect the other sex in general and the own partner in particular.
    5. Willingness to share, both good and bad things.
    6. Adaptability and flexibility. Willingness to negotiate.
    7. Willingness to work for relationship and if necessary find external or even professional help.
    8. Willingness to grow and learn new abilities in relationships.
    9. Willingness to take and share the responsibility: emotional, financial and parenting (if there is any intention of having offspring).
    10. Sharing the similar or compatible life goals and willingness to respect the world views of the significant other.

Turn-down:

    1. Untreated mental illness or addiction of any kind (except maybe smoking).
    2. Tendency to violence – either mental or physical.
    3. Any kind of extremism or fanaticism.
    4. Sociopathy or pathological narcissism.
    5. Pathological jealously.
    6. Authoritative personality.
    7. History of (any) unfaitfullness and (at least the worst cases of) hopeless flirt. (Including the married or otherwise taken persons).

You may notice that I used the word willingness instead ability – that is because we all have debilities in those fields and what I think is most wanted in the relationship is good will.

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