My Total Holiday

I did not intend to do much this week. I intended only to relax. I gained more than I tought mostly doing things by inspiration and I feel I’ve not had this great week for ages – just by my self. Sometimes one just needs time to one self. This week I have met people and lived some days like hermit. I have gone through different kind of emotions I have not really had time to feel. And I have neglect my blog.

I feel more relaxed and stable than for ages. I reneved my facial treatmen routine, I went to IKEA to buy small table (genious) for my laptop (and some other things as well). I went to a soireé with friends as well as for caffee.This week I also finally bought new glasses after I am ashamed to tell you how long since. She found out that my eyesight had bettered quite much infact and that I’ve been having too strong glasses for some while.

When I first time got glasses I was nine or ten and I had wanted glasses because I had not managed in a game with friend. We played with number plates, that in my country have also three letters. We tried to form words of those letters by adding one more letter. I was always late on seeing the plate, so she won me. One of my class mates – a little a bit strange boy, who played duck and later Jr. Ewing – named me professor plum. Later the plum dropped off, but professor stayed for years. I supposed it was because I was good in school and liked to help others.

Last weekend I was on my aunts (really my uncles wife, but we call her aunt) 60th birthday and I met plenty of my mothernal family (aunts, uncles, cousines and their children). My older girl cousine picked me up last friday. During the drive she told me about her job and I felt so lucky, although I have been complaining about how I am bored with my job. She has had just messes on the run – one after another since she had to stop being a hairdresser due to an allergy. What am I complaining? And why don’t I do something for it?

The summer as we consider it has ended and the rains of the fall are here. And I chose this week to be my last week of summer holiday. Well I have stayed inside trying to educate myself on human prehistory and stoic philosophy, but mainly reading romantic novels and watching some movies (Jane Austen’s Emma with Gwynneth P. and Toni Collette) and playing computer game (Civ III). I had to hide it because it kind of got out of hands. And I’ve been playing with my camera and taken some quite nice photoes.

The most serious moment of this week was, when I tought about how things were left with my dad – and how I am afraid to become mom. That is one reason I am keeping out of relationships. I don’t feel like filling up my mothers shoes – if you know what I mean. And what if me and my hub would mess up with our kids like my parents did. It made me sad, because I understand that if I want children I don’t have years and years left to wait any more.  But the sad moment was gone quite fast and it was important to think about that too. I want to stay connected with my feelings, because I have bad happit of trying to bury them.

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3 Responses

  1. I started to wear glasses at the same age than you, Raindreamer 😉
    Our parents can be a model for our relationships or the model not to follow. Many of my friends, whose parents divorced, told me the same thing that you wrote about the fear of reproducing the same mistakes our parents did.

  2. How could one get rid of fears – or are they in fact a small safe guard against repeating the mistakes? But when they block the thing you desire yourself they are not wise.

  3. A man is trying a very unusual way to propose to his girlfriend. He wants people to forward an email to as many people as possible and he hopes that it will eventually get to his girlfriend. Details here: http://www.proposal-to-mary.com

    Here is what he wants people to send by email:

    You could help me a lot to spread my proposal to Mary – it is important that it is distributed as widely as possible so that it eventually reaches Mary. If you would like to support my proposal to Mary, please send the following text by email to a lot of people 🙂

    ————- SNIP (email text end) —————

    WHEN YOU RECEIVE THIS, PLEASE HELP TO DISTRIBUTE IT TO OTHER PEOPLE!

    For a long time I have tried to find a special way to propose marriage to my girlfriend Mary, whom I know for five years now. I wanted it very special, romantic and memorable, something our grandchildren would still remember.

    And here is my idea: I will send out the proposal to Mary to 50 complete strangers, people I don’t know – hoping, that they will forward my proposal to as many people as possible, which in turn forward it etc. And some day, I hope, it will reach Mary, after it has travelled a very long way. I know, it will take a long time and I am quite nervous…

    From the poem MY Mary will know immediately that the proposal is for her.

    I have created a homepage ( http://www.proposal-to-mary.com ) where you can find the current status of my quest. You can use the homepage to check if the proposal has already reached Mary (in that case it is not necessary anymore to forward the mail).

    Once the proposal has reached Mary, I will put a note on these pages. Also I will publish there how many people have read the proposal so that everybody can see how far it has spread and that it is getting closer to Mary.

    And of course you will find there what I am waiting for most: Mary’s answer! I can’t tell you, how nervous I am… Will she accept my proposal? Will she like the unusual way how she got it, through the hands of thousands of messengers all over the world?

    Please cross your fingers for me! And please – help me by sending the mail to as many people as possible, to help it spread, so that it eventually reaches Mary.

    And here is my proposal:

    Mary, please forgive me, as you know English is not my native language. And I am not a poet. But I mean it from my heart.

    My angel,

    Five years ago, I will always remember the day When fate made us meet, blissful Alaskan moments in May Earth spun around us and a journey began Love, warmth, happiness, enough the years to span.

    The longer it lasts the more grows our bond And with 80 still – of you I will be fond Whatever happens, I will stay at your side Through good and bad, together let us stride

    No second with you was ever wasted
    You are the sweetest I have ever tasted
    We have spent so many years – why not a life?
    Mary, will you marry me – and become my wife?

    Mary, if you have received that and have recognized me, then give me a sign so that I can continue with the romantic part of my proposal…

    ————- SNIP (email text end) —————

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