Shyness is not Unsexy (in Men)

There are a lot of shy men – and many people sadly consider shyness as a short of charachter flaw. I’ve known several shy men and I don’t consider shyness as a huge defecet. In fact the shy ones are often the nice ones and they may have quite a charachter under their shy exterior.

One of my uncles is shy. He is one of the nicest persons I’ve known and loves children and children love him. Unfortunately he never married and as far as it one can trust my mother knowing it never dated either. My brother is a bit like that too. He is handsome (and this is not just big sis opinion) and clever, but prefers to communicate through computer. I have a colleague at work, who is young, tall, handsome and nice and does even make good conversation occasionally, but is terribly shy too. Neither of the young men are aces in the dating world.

I had an discussion here about weather timid men can be sexy – and they can – and that is not the problem. The problem is partly our traditional roles of male needing to make a pass first. It is also that these guys may shy up, when somebody makes a pass on them. They may be handsome, funny and nice, but if they are left wordless in the company of any potential female, it is not very good for any relationship.

At least 25% of light coloured Caucasians are shy by their nature. It is a feature much better accepted in women than in men. It is not a disease nor syndrome. One does not need to heal from it. Shyness is so widely spread that there must be in-fact evolutionary benefit of it. In Asian culture shyness is positive or even admired feature and only in the western world it is unwelcomed.

Nobody should be shy over shyness. It is not unpleasant feature in man at least on my opinion. There are much more essential features. And shy men c-a-n be sexy. Shyness itself is not espesially sexy, but men who are timid can be. It is no a total hinderance in human relationship. If it would be there would not be any shy people left, don’t you think?

I personally have to say I don’t too much care of the men that are overly full of them selves and boast all the time. That is much bigger hinderance with me and much less sexy than shyness. I also don’t like men that are all over, if you know what I mean. Little reserve is much better. But then again I am a bit shy myself.

If I could give one clue that would be to talk to girls you like. At least say hi, so your shyness wont be taken rudeness. It does not so much matter if you mumble your words, if you at least say something. I know it is not easy and can be rather painful, but believe me it is worth it. Start by smiling and if she smiles back – smile again and then later go to talk with her.

I must admit that shyness maybe a bit frustrating. I was once interested in guy, who was so obviously interested in me, but did not make any move. I was open to his abroaches, but he just looked at me and never came to talk. Even his cousin tried to bring us together, but that did not work out either. Finally I gave up and moved on. So please don’t stay aloof – do something, even if you feel akward.

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5 Responses

  1. I suddenly miss my brother. He is the type who has his way of wooing women and these women for some reason easily fall for him. But when it comes to other matters such as attending parties or meeting new people, he suddenly becomes so aloof that he sometimes does not eat at parties anymore!

  2. Well that just shows that man can be shy and be liked by women. 🙂

  3. Hey, im 19 and i really liked a shy guy that was to scared to make the first move but i just think thats so sexy. I just see it as sweet and him not wanting to take advantage! Anyway we were together for 5months and he made no attempt of kissing me on the lips so i just grabbed him and did it!!! lol but we been together for 2years now and everything is going well. I just personally prefer shy guys to stupid boasting arrogant types! shy guys are the best so dnt change xx

  4. Killer post. I thought you might like an NY Times article on the mystery method. I put the link in the URL filed. 🙂

  5. Thanks! Your comment was almost lost in Akismet. I must check it more often now to see that nothing else than spam gets lost. 🙂

    About the article: I am aware about this kind of industry. I don’t like it and I think women, who would know about it would feel faked. It is about the same than female “rules”. It is also expensive and I hate to see anybody to waste their money in this.

    But about the method described in tha article (the mystery method): if it makes it easier to some one to talk to women, then it is OK! I mean: the personality is what counts in the end. I don’t think it is about hypnotision.

    I liked a lot about this article of Eddie:The 2 Best Pick Up Lines Ever.

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