Sheepish of the Sour-mood

Low life in my male front – not that it is very busy anyway, but even more silent than usually. Probably my own fault. Yet it makes me cranky. I realised this especially few weeks ago, although signs have been on the wall for longer while. I suppose it is even worst after spring was kind of better than for a while (not wild tough). Lately I’ve been thinking how unfair it is to take my dissatisfaction on others.

I hate being on the cranky mood and barking around. I hate it even more after it is over. I can be sarcastic and bad, and while I mean it at the moment (when I am irritated) I don’t necessary do anymore next day or week. I’d love not to have these low moments.

Last Saturday I was in the super-market, when middle-aged lady whit a sour face and neurotic hurry barked either on me or the young bloke behind me. We both looked surprised and innocent to her claim of blocking the way. It made me sheepish of the moments I’ve taken my bad-mood on others. They have nothing to do whit it.

Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the
right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right
purpose, and in the right way; this is not easy.

I know that spinsters are supposed to be either silly or sour, but I really don’t want to be neither. Lately I’ve been afraid of becoming rather sour old lady. Here is something I reflected:

  • If I am in the hurry – it is because I left too late, not because someone is blocking my way (like this lady seemed to think).
  • If I don’t have a man in my life, it is not the fault of the guys, who like to live free or any other guy either – it is just life (and maybe me).
  • If I am feeling fat, it is not fault of any of those pretty and thin people, who workout and eat healthy. It is because I eat what ever and am too lazy to even walk up the stairs of my house.
  • If I feel left out, it is no fault of those people, who seem to belong. It may rather be due to me being in a freak mood and avoid seeing people, when I could.
  • It is not our customers or my colleagues fault if I am not satisfied of my work and would rather do something else. It is my responsibility to find something else.
  • Whats wrong in my life is no fault of others, even if feel weak and helpless. I should take responsibility of my life and not take my dissatisfaction on others.

2 Responses

  1. I can only applaud you for such self-introspection. But try not to be too harsh on yourself.

  2. I try.

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