Isin’t Getting Rejected Always Man’s Fault?

Just before the Easter I suddenly got plenty of traffic from strange source called rsd-nation. It was a male discussion forum and the writer linked to “Too picky or too shy” – and commented: “Does this mean that getting rejected is not always our fault? YES! 😀 “. Did you guys really think that women are some kind of robots that if you press the right buttons you always get “yes”?

The women can have past wounds and insecurities you have nothing to do with. Often it is about the right timing, the right mood and about nice guy. There are plenty of us, who don’t like men coming to us too heavily. “I saw you and you seem nice and I wanted to talk to you and get to know you. Can I sit here and talk with you?” would sound great to me. Much better and more honest than any lame flattery. So don’t tell me I am beautiful or mysterious or any that kind of rubbish.

What ever you do, don’t just push there, because you’re too afraid of actually asking me. That does not seem nice and in fact it feels distressing for me. It is not respectful and makes me feel used somehow and I want to run. That single move probably blew your changes with me totally. Nothing is so unbecoming than strange man rubbing or pushing himself on me. Believe me, I know.

I would really recommend that instead of using huge amount of money for these guys, who just teach you player tactics, you ask some women (who your not that much interested in and just friends with) how they think women like to be approached and treated. They will probably be happy to help some man to treat the ladies in his life better as long as they don’t have crush on you.

You should remember that there is no tactic working for every women in all occasions. Women can be occasionally moody, which you should know, if you have ever been in relationship with one. Some women, like me, also have past wounds and are insecure of them selves. No man has ever moved slow enough for me and been actually moving some where. Yet most of the women would probably want it faster than me. My point here is to slow down, if the reaction is not what you looked for instead of pushing more, which is the mistake most men do.

You should also consider that almost one third of the women get harassed as children and it is a light form of child abuse. It leaves some scars. So many women, especially many of those pretty ones do have problems with their past. They’ve learned unhealthy coping skills. Many of them probably feel (I’ve heard one of my friends especially complaining about this) that men come after them just because they are beautiful. The beauty knows that hanging her on his arm raises the guys status in the eyes of other men. It is not that flattering, when you think about it.

Others like me feel the line about the great beauty to be fake, when you say it, because we don’t often feel so beautiful. The problem is we can feel that way even if you really mean it. So your honesty might be brought to question, even if you were sincere. So don’t pay too much attention on the female beauty in the beginning in spite of how beautiful she is. Later, when we already trust in you, it is nice compliment as all the women like to look beautiful in the eyes of their men. It is a little female vanity.

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3 Responses

  1. I agree with you a hundred percent. Once a guy courts a woman, it should not be just about being together, but being our friend. And a friend knows how to adjust to one’s moods. Making friendly gestures is better than spitting lame pickup lines.

  2. Thanks Lizzie. I agree: most of us want men to be our friends as well as our lovers.

  3. Those men’s sites can be so frustrating! They’re often filled with all kinds of misogynistic crap! The worst thing is that a lot of those men’s magazines dismiss female advice, claiming that a) women don’t know what they really want (and hence need a man to tell them {eye roll}) or b) won’t be truthful about what they want because what they want is politically incorrect. They can’t believe–or don’t want to–that we could possibly be honest with them because what we have to say isn’t what they want to hear. These men’s sites are teaching a whole generation of males how to ruin relationships!

    And I totally agree with you about those men who approach you in clubs and start getting touchy-feely. It’s such a turnoff! Why on earth do they think we want a stranger invading our personal space? Sheesh!

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