Would You Date Transgender? – or the Pregnant Hubbie

He is legally man, he has beard. His wife had hysterectomy (removing uterus) due to endrometriosis and cannot get pregnant. According to his own story, he just stopped taking testosterone to be able to get pregnant, without needing no help of artificial hormones nor fertility drugs to aid her (his) pregnancy. Got lost? I almost did.

It took them one year to get access to sperm bank, because so many doctors / medical stuff felt uneasy to treat them. He told to the Advocate they needed to resort to home insemination, where the wife was aiding him. Most of the wives family don’t even know him being transgender. And here I thought that you need to be sterile to be able to legally change gender – but apparently you don’t. So now this guy is first “man” to pregnant. He sees himself as his own surrogate.

So knowing all this, would you date a transgender?

Read more: Labour of Love by Advocate.com or She is pregnant, but she is a man by stuff.co.nz or Is the story of a pregnant man legit? By Katu


13 Responses

  1. Every ten minutes a child is born, 1/2500, in which the doctor cannot determine the sex, or gender. This is not talking about homosexuality, but tragically a congenital condition of birth which can be caused by endocrine agents and chemicals. These children are Intersex; they are born into a life of not male or female. Likewise in similar fashion the Transsexual is identified with a Bioneurological congenital condition, and they too are locked into something not quite so clearly defined as male, or female. The best we can do is live as close to what we seem to believe we are. That may preclude the wants, and often ignorant and bigoted beliefs of others. In what case do we ignore this issue and abandon the children who now cannot hide? How can anyone continue in hate and prejudice so as to deny simple equality and justice? It is either time for change and understanding, or simply wheedle out the transgender element as inhuman and adopt the final solution as Hitler visualized? Not an easy thing to resolve, but one that is present and will not go away.
    I can appreciate another’s opinion, and the freedom to express same, but I would hope they would be with regard to the children, teens, and emerging adults, and all who are not so fortunate to have been born by someone’s idea of “normal.” Yet as a Conservative, Christian, Parent, and Transsexual, law should be equal for everyone, or it is not fit for anyone.

  2. If I were a guy, I’d probably be willing to date a transwoman. But as a chick, I don’t really well, want to date someone else with a vagina, even if he looks and acts like a guy everywhere else.

    I’m not saying my answer’s right, but most of my attraction to guys is the oppositeness. That and uh, having no interest in female genitalia.

  3. Thanks for your opinions.

    Yes I am well aware of existence of hermaphrodites or intersexuality – that carry both genders. Yet while it is medical and biological issue, at the same time the transgender is clearly psychological issue and I don’t think they can be directly linked, even if they may look alike. The deeper motives are different. I also wrote about this issue in a matter of the fact way as it was described in Advocate. I did not criticise their actions (the pregnancy) in any way, or did I?

    The only thing could make any one angry was the question in the end about wanting to date, but we all have right to be choosy and also right to know the facts. These people are not born in their gender and the person they date should have right to know and right to choose whether they want to date them or not.

    It is not bigotry if lesbians don’t want to date men or if gays don’t want to date women. It is called sexual preference. How would it be bigotry if heterosexual woman does not want to date transgender man? Don’t heterosexuals have the same right to follow their sexual preference than others do? What ever has Hitler got to do with my romantic life?

  4. About four years ago I did date a transgender person. We got to know each other and fell deeply in love. After living together for 3 years, we were married. Yes, it is a legal marriage.

    We have been married over a year. We are very happy and love one another more as time moves along.

    We have a fantastic relationship. We have many common interests and are comfortable in allowing the other one to be involved in our individual interests. Of course, we have differences or difficulties occasionally but we are able to resolve our problems.

    We have a large group of friends……….heterosexual, gay, lesbian and transgender individuals some who are in relationships and some single. Some of the couples have children that we fulfill the role of auntee for. The kids love us and are always excited when they get to come to auntees house.

    We have a “normal” life. We have friends and family and enjoy spending time with them. We are involved in our church. We have 2 dogs we spoil. We enjoy music, movies, reading, quilting, traveling, cooking, having dinner parties and many other very common, usual things.

  5. Thanks for your story.

    Yes of course it is a legal marriage. It is nice if you both are happy.

  6. I think that everything is OK with this situation. But people is getting scared of the new. But that is happening because of the fear to different situations. They are not used to it. Sorry for my English: I’m Spanish.
    If you want to sign our manifesto about sexual diversity, we are asking the respect for homosexuals and trasgender (the manifesto is written in spanish).

  7. As a transgender man I have a question- when would be the best time to disclose?

    I guess the first date is too soon, if they don’t know me as a person they’ll just see the transgender. I guess I think if they really like me as a person they’d be ok with it.

    For two years after I ‘changed’ I never had the courage to date. I was really two paralysed by fear to actually meet someone. Also no one ever seemed to even find me attractive. Then I found a lovely girlfriend who already knew I was trans and was really really ok with it – it’s been three years and we’re very happy now :-D.

    But I do sometimes wonder, if I was single again – how on earth would I date?

  8. I have to say that knowing that a man I had been considering dating was a transgender person would be a turn-off. And I fear that actually seeing and dealing with (physically) his body would also be an even bigger turn-off, as I feel the same way Jennifer does….I am atracted physically to those things which are different about a man’s body. However, having said that, one can start falling in love with someone’s whole “essence”, personality and physicality, and in that case the details of their physique might well not matter. It might become just another physical quirk that endeared you to that person….or who knows? Under the influence of love, it might even become frankly exciting, sexually.
    Outside of exceptional occurrences like this, however, I would not want to date a transgender man. I would, however, be very interested in having lengthy conversations with him about his worldview and life experiences.

  9. Thanks Juanat, It is nice you did not take my blogging too seriously. Thanks for the link.

    Dear Z,
    I’d say, when you know the person and have some kind of idea how the handle surprises – but I’d say not to push it too late. I’d dig the idea from them by bringing the subject up rather early without getting personal. Like telling a story about your trans-gender friend and checking how they react. As I told I am not generally against idea of transgender, but I don’t like the idea of dating one.

    Fleischmanns, I share your opinion. We can always get to know people that are different than us, even if we would not consider dating them. It lessens the barriers – in both sides, I hope.

  10. I am currently dating a man that wants to be a woman. I love being with him and I love his desires. He is a trucker and has to take on two roles. this is a challenge as he does not know how to seperate the two. I want to work through this with him and help him to achieve his life as a woman. I love him for who he is not for what I think he should be.

  11. I would but I would rather date an intersex person.

  12. I think some transsexuals are more beautiful than real women.

  13. I am a hetero male intrigued by transgendered women (born in a male body). I think the female body, big or small, is beautiful, but having that body with male genitalia is even more intriguing.

    So I would have no problems dating a transgendered. As long as they consider themselves a woman though I can only be physical with a woman who appears as something close to a woman (ie. no body hair, soft features, breast implants, etc.).

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