How Do You Take Care of Yourself as a Woman?

This question surprised me. I had never thought about taking care of myself as a woman (you guys can replace it with man if you like). It was in a book, where it was part of the section about identity. I seldom think about taking care of myself anyway. I posed this question to my girl friends and according their reactions, they were as baffled as I was.

The question was like opening a new window of thought. I at least believed I was seeing a totally new dimension here and trough it looking my life differently. Although I was not that sure what the question meant exactly. What would it be like to take care of my femininity?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot, how people often talk about masculinity and mean strength (both physical and mental) and talk about femininity and mean sensitivity and empathy. It is like women and men equally would not posses both groups of qualities. Not all men like wrestling and not all women hate it. Not all men hate ballet and not all women love it.

When I was in high school I was good with computers and occasionally even better than the guys in the course. I was the only girl. We could process with the computer programming course as we best wished. While boys ran forward as fast as they could – I spend a lot of time making my programs also look OK, instead of just working. When they got stacked some where our teacher asked me to skip few easier problems and try the ones they could not manage.

When I left first from the exam after checking my answers twice, all the guys stared at me and after we got the result one of them was sent to ask mine. I felt like a freak. I did better than them. I was not a proper girl, because I was able to process higher mathematics (like my computer teacher told his wife, who again told my mum).

It only came to my mind later that I approached my task differently than guys, even if my abilities seemed above them. On the other hand there were not many in the course that were good at maths and science. After the high school I shook maths and science off myself and head off to political sciences, part as a rebellion and part as avoiding some imaginative stigma. Maybe it is this why I do have hard time understanding transgender. I feel vulnerable myself.

Now how do I take care of myself as a woman? Occasionally I wear skirt and that is for my own pleasure and not to please men. I enjoy wearing skirts, especially those long ones that are not very sexy, but feel as a weight on the ankle and make me feel like woman. I was my hair with a shampoo that supposedly brightens the dark blond colour. I bought myself tulips just before Easter. It is difficult to tell. So how do you take care of yourself as man / woman?

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6 Responses

  1. I’ve been reading just a bit of your site and like it. So, how do I take care of myself as a woman? After years of raising little kids, I had cut my long hair to a short “mommy cut” and stopped wearing earrings or necklaces (the kiddies pull on them…ouch!), and now , with my youngest 5 years old, I have just started buying myself some inexpensive (and coordinating!) jewelry again. It makes me feel feminine and I enjoy it. I also have got back into the gym after a 7-year hiatus and have started doing weight-training seriously, and I love feeling strong again. I got inspired by a website called “stumptuous.com” written by a Womens’ Studies prof who also pumps serious iron. It’s funny, informative and makes you feel proud to have muscles and feel feminine at the same time.

  2. I also wear skirts, but no mini, and spend some time with my girlfriends talking about girl stuffs. Getting pampered from time to time, also.

  3. Thanks Fleishmans, it is nice to be liked. It is also nice to hear about you.

    Modobs, well pampering is always nice.

  4. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot, how people often talk about masculinity and mean strength (both physical and mental) and talk about femininity and mean sensitivity and empathy. It is like women and men equally would not posses both groups of qualities. Not all men like wrestling and not all women hate it. Not all men hate ballet and not all women love it.

    Oh, this is SO true! When I was in college, I took Psychology of Men with a wonderful, enlightened professor who drilled this exact truth into my brain. “What are masculine and feminine qualities?” he used to ask. “Aren’t they human qualities? Don’t we all cry sometimes? Don’t we all yell now and then? Aren’t both sexes capable of being authoritative in the boardroom but gentle with a child?”

    Of course the answer is yes! But my professor pointed out how certain qualities like empathy, mercy, or insight are classified as “feminine” in order to devalue them as “weak.” It was such a revelation! I never forgot that class.

  5. these things aren’t about being a woman – – but they are about taking care of myself:
    i put money in my 401k.
    i invest in relationships.
    i buy myself flowers.
    i have goals and work towards them.
    i take myself on dates.
    i do things that allow me to meet new people.
    i have an emergency fund.
    i exercise.
    i have a dog for companionship and fun.
    i challenge my brain.

  6. Hi Single Makes Perfect: looks like pretty comprehensive list.

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